Thursday, November 28th 2019

CRISIS INCOMING

Debates of the Economic and Social Council have been disrupted when Deputy Secretary General, stepped into the room, wielding the UN helmet. He announced that Jair Bolsonaro, the president of Brazil, has been assassinated on the streets of the capital city, Brasilia. Donald Trump answered with a tweet, in which he expressed his condolences, reminded everyone that climate change is not real and suggested that activists might have been involved with the murder. Delegates were also provided with the information that Greta Thunberg, a famous young activist, has gone missing. Everyone commemorated Bolsonaro with a minute of silence, before starting a heated debate regarding the newly found information. Delegate of Brazil accused Thunberg of killing the president, which was dismissed by Guyana, due to of lack of proof. Japan suggests that Trump was responsible for both kidnapping and assassination. Delegate of the USA on the other hand, believes that after seeing the president’s tweet, Gretha realised that climate change is not real an decided to hide out of shame. With so many approaches to the crisis, we cannot wait to see, how it is going to be resolved.

HUNGER GAMES IN AFRICA?

Deputy Secretary General paid a visit to the Human Rights Council as well. This time, he brought the news about how the African Union decided to introduce annual “African Hunger Games” to bring prosperity to the member countries. President Vladimir Putin was quoted promising to sponsor said event and considering implementing it in Russia, as he believes it will be a perfect solution for the problems of overpopulation and poverty. Donald Trump has already tweeted about said idea, condemning it and stating that it paints countries of the African Union as less developed than USA. Nonetheless, he admitted that he is interested in watching it. It sparked a debate, which turned out to be more one-sided than expected. Democratic People’s Republic of Korea together with China and Russia decided to join forces and not only sponsor the African Hunger Games, but also help to implement it in other countries. They have already started preparations for a meeting, during which leaders of the countries will watch the event together. Saudi Arabia and Egypt also showed interest in the solution. Delegate of the United Kingdom was the first one to oppose the idea, stating that it is violating Human Rights and declared support of Trump’s argument. China responded, arguing that UK’s colonialism is one of the reasons why such drastic measures are needed. From the expressions on chairpersons’ faces, it can be deduced that they were highly entertained by the turn the debate has taken. In the end, the problems of said event have been addressed and the winning resolution was to stop African Hunger Games.

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